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MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE

BY RACHELLE & ROBERT CAMPBELL


Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)

Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things. (2 Timothy 2:7)

RACHELLE:

Robert has always instilled in me that we are on the same team. He told me if I make a mistake with Judah, it isnt my mistake its our mistake. He makes decisions in the best interest of us, not just himself. I have learned to trust him as a leader of our family and so I make a point to agree with him, even if I don’t fully understand his position in the moment. This is very important to me. We may have a disagreement but I will always stand with him on his view in the moment and when the time comes (when we are alone) I will let him know my thoughts or ask him further why he has a particular viewpoint or made a certain decision. We always work it out from there and get back in agreement after we’ve talked it out. I have learned the longer you let your feelings linger, the easier it is for things to blow way out of proportion.

ROBERT:

Before we can understand how the God of the Bible has designed and orchestrated marriage we first have to recognize our view on the Bible and Christ. When Rachelle and I first met, we both had different views of the Bible and Christ. Rachelle grew up Catholic and of course, I grew up [Protestant] Christian. Early on in our relationship we had to determine who Christ was to us as individuals and then we had to determine how we would serve Him. Our conclusion was that we would not live based on simply the “tradition of men” (Colossians 2:8) but that we would live according to His Word. Why?

2 Timothy 3:16-17

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

Proverbs 30:5

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.

Isaiah 40:8

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever.

ROBERT: There can be no compromise when it comes to this. No man can serve two masters… (Matthew 6:24)

RACHELLE: We are growing to put the Most High and His ways first in our lives, over finances, over tough decisions… over everything. Because me and my husband are in full agreement on this, life decisions and changes are all secondary to our ultimate pursuit. We know that if we follow Him in all things, we will live a life of spiritual abundance and we will always have everything we need. This takes a lot of stress off of us and allows our relationship to deepen and grow through the good times and the bad.

John 14:6 = Christ says “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

ROBERT: If we accept what Christ says as the absolute truth, then we must have a foundation rooted in His Word.

RACHELLE: We follow Christ not just in reading his word, but in our actions.

1 John 3:18 = My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

John 4:23 = But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth: for the Father seeketh such to worship him.

How To Worship In Truth

John 8:31-32

If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

Isaiah 28:9-11

Whom shall he teach knowledge? and whom shall he make to understand doctrine? them that are weaned from the milk, and drawn from the breasts. For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little: For with stammering lips and another tongue will he speak to this people.

Romans 12:1-2

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

RACHELLE: As a wife, I understand that my laborous tasks like cooking, cleaning, taking care of my child and husband and taking care of the household is actually my service towards my God. It can be very exhausting and it truly is hard work but it is the least I can do. I realize that I must workout my salvation every day and with that understanding I get the strength to do it (and to find the joy in it). I have to step away from the ways of this world because it is constantly trying to pull me into a mentality that is far from the lifestyle of the Bible. Getting into the word and surrounding myself with people who believe like I do cleanses my spirit and encourages me.

ROBERT: What Rachelle is actually referring to as her “reasonable service” in this instance is what it means to be a “Virtuous Woman” as mentioned in Proverbs 31.

Psalms 1:1-3 = Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

ROBERT: As a Husband this is my role. The ‘law of the LORD’ is my guide and the counsel that I seek should speak of His law as the source for ALL things.

RACHELLE: We follow the law of the Bible... Doing this brings peace, simplicity and abundance- also it allows us to thrive because we understand our roles.

2 Timothy 2:15 = Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

RACHELLE: Studying the word is a lifestyle.

ROBERT: Exactly! Rachelle is absolutely right… As you read in many Psalms, we are to meditate on his laws and ways day and night. When the Bible says to pray without ceasing, what that actually means is that we are actually proclaiming His word as truth at all times.

The Importance Of Studying The Law

Galatians 3:24-25

Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster.

1 John 2:4-6

He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoso keepeth his word, in him verily is the love of God perfected: hereby know we that we are in him. He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also to walk, even as he walked.

1 John 3:18-24

My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. And hereby we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our hearts before him. For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God. And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

1 John 4:17-19

Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us.

1 John 5:3

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.

2 John 1:6

And this is love, that we walk after his commandments.

RACHELLE: Keeping the commandments like honoring the Sabbath, covering my head when I pray, following the dietary laws etc, has brought us closer together and made our life much more simple/ enjoyable. We have a better understanding of our Father and it helps us to be in agreement and to walk as one.

ROBERT: There seems to be a HUGE misconception when it comes to the LAW. As Paul writes to the Galatians, “we are no longer under a schoolmaster (the Law),” however, that doesn’t mean the Law is done away with. Christ says “Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill.” (Matthew 5:17) Two things to note here- When he says “the Law, or prophets” he is speaking about what we call the Old Testament. Secondly, he says to “fulfill.” When we read verse 18 he goes on to say what has to be fulfilled before we can pass from the law and that is ‘heaven and earth pass.’ I’m pretty sure that hasn’t happened yet so the law is very much valid, and not only that, it is GOOD (Romans 7:12; 1 Timothy 1:8). Remember the LAW (TORAH) simply is designed to teach us the truth about God. Torah means direction, teaching, instruction, or doctrine.

A Place To Start Studying: Read Psalm 111 and Psalm 119

What constitutes marriage?

Genesis 2:18, 20-24 = And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

ROBERT: So marriage simply stated is man’s recognition of woman as a suitable helper, who he leaves his family for and claims as his wife. This understanding recognizes man and woman as not seperate intities but unites them as one flesh. Christ echoes these words when speaking to the Pharisees in the book of Matthew.

Matthew 19:4-6 = And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Divorce only because of fornication = Matthew 19:7-9)


How does this “one flesh” idea work?

Colossians 3:15-19 = And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

ROBERT: What we start to see here is that the “one flesh” concept extends beyond man and woman. Paul is speaking of the Church and Christ as one flesh. He doesn’t create this similitude on his on however; this idea is echoed throughout the books of the prophets (Old Testament). For example, read the book of Hosea.


Why are women asked to SUBMIT?

ROBERT: If marriage between man and woman are a similitude to that of Christ and the Church, then the concept of a woman submitting doesn’t sound so barbaric. Christ offers through his sacrifice, salvation to the Church and in return the Church submits to his ways. That’s how it works! That’s why Christ says he is “the way.” Society fights this concept because if we can’t get it in the physical example of marriage, being between man and woman, we will not be able to see the spiritual importance of submitting to the ways of Christ. We have to remember that all things are created to draw us back into a relationship with our Father and every institution, in its righteous state, from marriage to government, is designed to point us to Christ which is "the way, the truth, and the life”.

RACHELLE: I think we are asked to submit because it makes life easier. You can’t have two people steering one boat. One person has to steer and the other has to make sure the horizon is clear etc.. It is all teamwork in the end and both jobs are equally important.

The world tries to teach us that the ways of the Bible are demeaning for women but this is actually why in Job there is a scripture that states “the world has been given into the hand of the wicked... “ Everything around us is trying to get women as far away from the truth as possible. We are constantly sold on this idea that freedom, independence and strength comes from being in control, doing what you want to and being the boss. But now more than ever, most women couldn’t feel more alone and confused. Our social media world doesn’t help because it paints a much different (and extremely false) picture.


Ephesians 5:22-33

Verse 22-31: Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Verse 32: This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

ROBERT: THIS IS A GREAT MYSTERY? I’m going to explain this plainly and can speak on in a later letter- The Almighty God and the Holy Spirit are the Father and Mother of the Son, Christ. This passage in Ephesians is showing the parallel of a Husband and Wife to that of Christ and the Church. It goes on to present that for this cause man must leave his father and mother (Christ leaving his position in Heavene becoming flesh to cleanse his bride, the Church) and shall be joined unto his wife (His return, second coming, is that joining) and they shall be one flesh (this is the hope of our salvation, that we shall become a new creation in Christ).

THIS IS MARRIAGE! THE EXAMPLE. THE BLUEPRINT. THE PURPOSE.

Verse 33: Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

RACHELLE: Why wouldn’t I love to reverence and submit to my husband if he treats me as good as these scriptures are telling him to?


1 Peter 3:7-12

Verse 7: Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

ROBERT: Why is woman the “weaker vessel”? —> First, remember the woman represents the Church in need of a Savior, and a new Name. Christ being the Husbandman offers this.

We must also remember the Fall of Man when woman was beguiled by the serpent to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil… Because of this, the curse that was put on woman outside of child bearing was “thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” (Genesis 3:16)

RACHELLE: This scripture is there to help me understand that the places where I may stumble and fall spiritually, my husband is there to pick me up. Strengthening me in that way is his duty, and I am thankful for him because of that.

Verse 8-11: Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing. For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good; let him seek peace, and ensue it.

Verse 12: For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.

ROBERT: It is important to know that as we seek to walk upright as Christ did, not just in word but in deed as we earlier discussed, Peter is saying here that the Lord’s ears are open unto our prayers. We have to stay seeking the Father through Christ and we have to remember that...

Hebrews 13:4-6 = Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.

How to avoid fornication and adultery: 1 Corinthians 7

A Virtuous Woman: Proverbs 31:10-31

“Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments. for this is the whole duty of man.”
-Ecclesiastes 12:13